Kids suck.

Hi, I'm Brian Powers. According to the census bureau, there are over 148 million parents in the US. I guarantee you that at least half of them go to bed each night wondering what the hell they got themselves into; and the other half are too exhausted, depressed or confused to give it a second thought. How do I know this? Because these are my people. I have been having second thoughts since I became a parent over three decades ago. A wise man once said that parenting is an excellent way to ruin what could have been a perfectly good life. I am that wise man, aka, THE Raging Parent™. Right from the start, you should know that after thirty years of having kids, I believe two things... 1. Parenting is a bad investment 2. Kids are overrated, actually, they suck! I also believe that there are five stages to this odyssey... 1. Newlywed to Newborns -- covering pregnancy to kindergarten and the painful physical, mental and spiritual transition from freedom to indentured servitude 2. Design a Child -- the period up to pre-adolescence where we make a series of key decisions that will define and/or scar both the child and you for years to come 3. Hairline versus Hormones -- adolescence: deservedly the most-notorious period of this adventure in animal training 4. Are They Gone Yet? -- that interminable stretch of time when the parole board of life isn't quite sure if you're ready to be released from your self-inflicted incarceration 5. Post-Graduate Parenting -- becoming a grandparent, aka, the great get even. Ultimately, being a parent is like being taken hostage by the people you were holding for ransom.