The Truth About Dealing With Difficult People (It's Not What You Think)

The truth about absolutism: it's not about political ideology or moral principles — it's an emotional addiction to certainty, absolution, and immunity from doubt. I break down the linguistic trick (I call them "synantonyms") that lets anyone spin any behavior as either righteous or toxic, and why Trump's appeal comes from mastering that spin, not his politics. The SPIN-CYCLOPEDIA. Download a free PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1F9KCOYpRpKddrsVokXC-yFw3PWDBKo84/view?usp=sharing 0:00 Introduction to Absolutism and Donald Trump 0:55 Defining Absolution and the Illusion of Invulnerability 2:31 The Mechanics of Spin and "Synantonyms" 4:39 The Spin-Off Dynamic and MAGA I'm Jeremy Sherman, PhD, a strategic consultant since 1997, specializing in dealing with jerks and doubts. For a free trial session, email me at js@jeremysherman.com 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: facebook.com/jeremysherm DEALING WITH JERKS jerkology.net BLOG: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/jerkology BOOK: What's Up With A**holes? How to spot and stop them without becoming one. https://a.co/d/6QDQwrY AUDIOBOOK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLerthdU4Jw&t DEALING WITH DOUBTS adaptivestrategies.net BLOG: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy BOOK: Negotiate with Yourself and Win: Doubt Management Skills for People Who Can Hear Themselves Think: https://a.co/d/brJpNli Though informal, I'll argue that my approach is more scientific than a lot of what passes for big picture science. It is really abstract engineering researchers claiming we've got this or that add-on feature without explaining how we got it. That makes for excellent engineering, but it's no more rigorous than supernatural explanations. For 30 years, I've worked closely with Harvard/Berkeley biologist/neuroscientist Terrence Deacon on developing fully scientific explanations for phenomena assumed by other researchers. Some examples: LIFE'S STRUGGLE FOR EXISTENCE: DNA and natural selection don't explain it. We have an entirely natural explanation for how self-regenerating beings (like us) could emerge from chemistry and evolve (by natural selection) the capacity to use DNA molecules. MOTIVATION: Psychologists just assume it. When they see effort, they assume a motivation, which is like assuming a "soul." We have an explanation for what effort and motivation physically are: Not something added to chemistry but the way chemistry can limit itself by channeling energy into work to regenerate itself. NARCISSISM: Psychologists say that if you've got these symptoms, you have a thing called Narcissism. I explain how humans, having evolved language, can imagine the ideal, see where we fall short, and self-idealize to compensate. It's something we all do. I study how it gets out of hand and becomes addictive. My book on our research: Neither Ghost Nor Machine: The Emergence and Nature of Selves (Columbia University Press, 2017) https://a.co/d/9ZNyT7E My PhD is in decision science. I'm a soulnerd with a deeply connected heart and head. This stuff is my non-spiritual path. I live and breathe my work. It's not some abstract intellectual exercise. Nor is it art. Science is a campaign to find natural explanations for all natural phenomena – natural, not supernatural - about which you can believe anything. Still, I try to make this stuff fun, intuitive, and useful. I've written over 1,100 blog articles for Psychology Today on practical decision-making and everything we all go through (11 million views). Their editor-in-chief calls it, "Mind candy for people who aren't afraid to think."