The Gecko 1966 - Wasted Years

That morning, when I left the church, live was different. I had a new energy deep inside. A new joy that I could not explain at the time. I did not know Christians, and I had no knowledge about how to act as a Christian. All I knew, I had a God now. What I did not realize is that He will become my best friend, my only friend, that will stick with me until my grey old age. I could not imagine, when I walk home, alone with my taught, what impact God will have later in my life. The strange things I would experience, that I would not be able understand, but would become clear when I look back at my life, as an old man. We did not pray at the table, at that time. So, I got up as everybody start eating, went into the passage where nobody can see me, and pray before I start eating. Everybody ask me surprised: “Were did you go?” I just smile and said nothing, sat down and eat. I was still a boy, and still do things I was not proud of, but God’s angle that walk with me, taught me along the way, to be a good person. My mother and father were good people, with good intentions. They did not drink or smoke. They did not keep them busy with scaly stuff. My father work hard to maintain the family. He was under tremendous pressure. My mother was also under pressure, to help my father with the business and looking after our six children. We loved our new house. My mother loves her dreamhouse that came true. My father loves the house, because he made it practical. We children loves the house, because it had a warmth and cosiness that I have never experience in any other house we ever stayed in. I was seven, when I met my angle, that walk with me, for the first time. I was sitting in the dust on the side of the cement ramp, that leads up to the garages. I play with my toy car and a Gecko came running past me in the dirt. Without a second taught, I instantly hit him with my toy car, and the Gecko was laying still. I pick it up and study the flexible lifeless body. I became sad, when I realize this lively little creature, that was running past me, are dead now. It was so final. Nothing I can do will make him alive again. I only able to kill it, nothing more. I make a little grave for the dead Gecko and sit staring at the little grave stone I erected for it. I got up and walk away. My day was spoiled and I was sad the rest of the day. The evening when I went to bed. I sleep in the servant quarter, where my brother also sleeps. In the darkness next to my bed stood someone. The person was tall. I could not see him, but I remember the authority that project from his whole being. He felt so real, it was as if my mother stood next to me in the dark. He starts speaking to me in a soft urgent voice. “I am so disappointed in you today. Why do you have to kill that little Gecko? God made creatures for a reason. Not to be killed for no reason. You should be ashamed for yourself.” I cried so much that night. I felt terrible. The next morning early, I got up, walk to the Gecko’s grave. I dug it up, hope that God healed it through the night. But it was still dead, now smelling bad. I bury it again and did not play in that area again. I always remember the Gecko up to today.