Do Narcissists Enjoy Hurting You? Here's Kerry's Hard Truth

Why does someone who divorces a narcissist keep going back to them? A listener writes in, “My best friend divorced her narcissistic ex two months ago — but she keeps talking to him, then ignoring him, then reaching out again. She says she wants to move on, but she can't seem to break the cycle.” In this episode, Kerry explains why leaving a narcissist doesn't automatically break the trauma bond and why survivors struggle to escape. Submit Your Question If you'd like Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or through https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail ******************* FEELING STUCK? Take my FREE “Toxic or Troubled?” survey to discover your relationship type and get instant access to a complete, private mini-course—educational overviews, reflective questions, grounding techniques, and new strategies tailored to your situation. ▶ Start here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/toxic-or-troubled-survey/ READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP? • ReclaimYou App - Break the confusion and start healing with the AI-powered coaching app built on Kerry’s wisdom and experience: https://studio.com/drkerry • The Complete Recovery Collection - Everything You Need to Leave and Heal from Narcissistic Abuse: https://kerrymcavoyphd.thrivecart.com/the-complete-recovery-collection/ • First Steps to Leaving Course - Break free from the mental fog that keeps you stuck: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/first-steps-to-leaving/ • Toxic-Free Relationship Club - More than a support group—join a thriving, therapeutic environment where survivors of narcissistic abuse heal & thrive. - https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/club/ STAY CONNECTED & SUPPORTED • Weekly “Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse” Substack newsletter – Insights, stories, and tools for your healing journey: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ • Follow Dr. McAvoy: - YouTube: @KerryMcAvoyPhD - Instagram: @KerryMcAvoyPhD - Facebook: @KerryMcAvoyPhD • Email: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.com • Website: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/breaking-free/ READ MY STORY “LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross” Available now: https://amzn.to/3NVMBXO KERRY MCAVOY, PHD, an author and educator, draws on her 25-year background in psychology and her lived experience as a survivor to help individuals decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. Her memoir, “Love You More,” offers an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. DISCLAIMER: This channel provides all content, resources, and services for educational and informational purposes only. They are not intended to substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical treatment, or legal advice. Viewing or engaging with this content does not create a client-therapist relationship. If you are experiencing a crisis or mental health emergency, please call 911 (or your local emergency number) or seek immediate help from a licensed professional. 0:00 Introduction: Why Do Abusers Enjoy Hurting People? 2:03 Power and Control as Emotional Regulation 3:27 Understanding Won't Give You Closure 4:33 Stop Centering Them: Shift Your Questions 5:13 Pattern Recognition Over Explanation 6:36 Living With Unanswerable Questions