The 50/50 relationship "equality" trap

🌏 Upgrade your online protection with an all-in-one security app! ➵ https://NordVPN.com/bryonyclaire It’s risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!✌ Feminism means that women want to be "treated equally" right? There's an idea that splitting everything straight down the middle makes things fair, but how does that work out in practice in romantic relationships? Why does the conversation so often stop at splitting the rent/groceries/expenses straight down the middle but the moment you bring things up around one person earning less than the other, or the topic of equitable division of unpaid labor, anger quickly follows. Women have gotten to the point of creating the "fair play" system, as a way to try to divide invisible labor, has it worked? The next step women are taking is decentering their husbands. What does "fair" really look like? Timestamps: 00:00 intro 05:19 How practical are 50/50 relationships? 17:34 the rigidity of roles 31:24 the mythical promises of fair play 40:13 suffer the consequences 43:27 decenter your husband - the ultimate solution? 51:07 final thoughts Videos recommended: @T1J https://youtu.be/hBKK9AVydHE?si=zieECgHCPJ_WjDqM @verilybitchie https://youtu.be/h2ou2A_-8JU?si=2Xflcri9Wq0AHHeK Books referenced: All we want is everything - Soraya Chemaly The Ambition Penalty - Stefanie O'Connell Accounts recommended: https://www.instagram.com/uppity_negress_/reels/ https://zawn.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-fair-play-and-other https://www.instagram.com/sheisapaigeturner/ https://www.instagram.com/abbyeckel/ Videos/creators referenced in order of appearance https://www.tiktok.com/@dezdyani/ https://www.tiktok.com/@arc.woman/ Jay https://www.instagram.com/p/DbZqyKuIdHo/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/oliviahowell/ https://www.instagram.com/reels/Ddj-Az0ySua/ https://www.instagram.com/nerdwallet/ https://www.instagram.com/p/Dc3XwE2jfEp/?hl=en&img_index=2 https://www.instagram.com/leading_fromwithin/?hl=en https://www.tiktok.com/@lucy.oco/ https://www.instagram.com/ajsaxsma/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/blessing.adesiyan/ https://www.tiktok.com/@kelleydaring Sources: https://magazine.columbia.edu/article/women-earn-half-much-after-having-children-finds-new-study https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/511799 https://www.bbc.com/news/business-36126584 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11761833/ https://dornsife.usc.edu/news/stories/moms-cognitive-burden-chores/ https://sk.sagepub.com/ency/edvol/the-sage-encyclopedia-of-industrial-and-organizational-psychology-2nd-edition/chpt/motherhood-penalty-fatherhood-bonus#_ Gendered perceptions of fairness in housework and shared expenses: Implications for relationship satisfaction and sex frequency https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6426245/ https://www.unwomen.org/en/news-stories/statement/2024/10/care-a-critical-investment-for-gender-equality-and-the-rights-of-women-and-girls https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/black-men-best-at-sharing-household-chores-with-white-men-among-the-worst-a6858961.html https://kimcenter.org/resources/nearly-half-of-men-say-they-do-most-of-the-home-schooling-3-percent-of-women-agree/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/fear-intimacy/202210/men-sometimes-avoid-marriage-it-benefits-them-more-women https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/basics/emotional-labor https://www.ualberta.ca/en/folio/2025/01/women-still-doing-most-of-the-housework.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2025/01/03/household-chores-gender-divide/ study Who’s doing more and when? Gender, parenting, and housework trajectories. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2024-64724-001 Winning the bread and baking it too study: https://www.nber.org/papers/w33393 https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210309-why-lgbtq-couples-split-household-tasks-more-equally https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/living-single/201906/single-moms-less-housework-more-leisure-married-moms/amp https://www.abs.gov.au/census/guide-census-data/census-dictionary/2026/variables-topic/unpaid-work-and-care/unpaid-domestic-work-number-hours-domp https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/the-awkward-census-question-making-aussie-couples-squirm/news-story/4b6fb4aae0636dd4cd3000628529e714 https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/10/27/working-husbands-in-the-us-have-more-leisure-time-than-working-wives-do-especially-among-those-with-children/ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/apr/30/divorce-women-marriage https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/nov/18/silver-splitters-why-divorced-women-are-so-happy-melinda-french-gates Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9483460/ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/sep/21/wealth-gap-oligarchy-gilded-age https://inequality.org/facts/global-inequality/ https://wid.org/marriage-penalty-prevents-marriage-equity-for-people-with-disabilities/